He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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