Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
