just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
