her vagine was all disorganized.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
