I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
