He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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