So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
