you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
