we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
