"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize