Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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