I'm really into asian looking animals
it glows. i had to have it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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