I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
