Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize