Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Be still, my beating vagina.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
foreskin is a definite game changer
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
