i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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