Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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