i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
