I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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