Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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