I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
