Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
