He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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