id be glad to
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
