If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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