We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
