Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
