You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
