So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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