we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
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he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
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It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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