A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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