I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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