There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
