This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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