i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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