I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
