I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
