remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
