Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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