I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
