LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
