yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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