i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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