Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
