My nipple is on Facebook.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
