I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
