Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
