I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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