Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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