you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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