I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i think im in europe. pls send help
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
