I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
