I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
