My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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