I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
