he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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