So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize
