also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
