I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Randomize