u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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