Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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