pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
