I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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