I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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