He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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